By NANCY NATILSON
Voting can be an act of compassion. Fred’s Dharma talk several weeks ago inspired me to reflect on ways I am engaging in compassionate action to ensure that I am always showing up with an open heart and aspiration to be of benefit.
We’ve been taught that compassion, “karuna” in Pali, is one of the four Buddhist Immeasurables that we practice to relieve the suffering of ourselves and others. Caring for one another and all life on our planet is the way we can express our compassion for living beings. I believe that we can manifest this caring by our participation in the upcoming election to find practical ways to bring healing and transformation to the suffering of our societal body.
We have to be careful these days that we don’t let our anger, apathy, frustration, and/or feelings of powerlessness stand in our way of exercising our right and responsibility to vote. In Florida, early voting opens on October 19, and absentee ballots can be requested up until October 24. Each state has an election website with up-to-date information. Florida’s is: https://dos.myflorida.com/elections/for-voters.
It’s easy to get carried away with the presidential race, but the elected positions up and down the ballot and the amendments all will have an impact on our lives and the lives of others. Please educate yourself about the other races and issues before you vote, especially since the wording of amendments can sometimes be misleading. The League of Women Voters publishes a useful non-partisan website guide for amendments by state. For those in Florida, the website is: https://www.lwvfl.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/09/Printer-Friendly-2020-Amendments-LWVFL.pdf
I know many of you are doing what you can to ensure a fair election and are taking actions you deem appropriate to help create a better world. I am volunteering with some non-partisan groups to make sure that all people who want to vote and are eligible to vote are able to cast their ballots. If you are interested in learning more about the opportunity to be a non-partisan Moral Observer or Poll Defender (anywhere in the country), please visit the Compassionate Voter Campaign Organizing Guide at https://greenfaith.org/USCompassionateVoter or go to www.thefrontline.org for details about the Poll Defender training, which has already begun. If you have any questions or comments, please contact me at firstname.lastname@example.org.
In closing, I offer you my vow to manifest as a compassionate presence in my actions of body, speech and mind and wish you the same liberation:
May we be free from anger, fear, and worry.
May we be of benefit to others on their healing and transformation journey.
May we fill our heart with compassion for ourself and others.
May we be open to receive others’ love and compassion.
May we vote out of compassion; and may we support others to do the same.
Nancy Natilson of Tampa joined FCM in 2005. She is a member of the Order of Interbeing and has served on FCM’s Board of Directors. She has taught many mindfulness courses and enjoys mentoring new FCM members.
By DOUG KALLMAN
Many of us have been participating in Fred’s teachings of “The Thirty-Seven Practices of Bodhisattvas,” a collection of verses of pith teachings of the aspirational path of letting go of self interest and dedicating our lives for the benefit of all beings. In addition to our daily practice and twice weekly Dharma talks, Fred offered a Saturday forum where we could learn from the questions of our Sangha classmates. I was requested to share a portion of this Q&A with Fred as it might be helpful for other practitioners.
In short, I asked Fred what do you do when you spin out, when as I phrased it, “the Dharma isn’t working.” Fred gently walked me through a reexamination of that idea. Was it in fact that the Dharma wasn’t working, or that I wasn’t applying the teachings properly?
He pointed out that the "self" was caught in wanting things to be a certain way and was irritated that it wasn’t going the way the self wanted. Like a petulant child, the self was having a good pout with a bit of foot stomping. I had lost mindfulness of seeing this clearly.
During this exchange I learned several things.
First, it was good to be vulnerable and share the problems I was having. In my life I have struggled with an inflated sense of my skills, a lack of humility, that has kept me from publicly acknowledging my challenges. This has been a source of suffering.
Second, on reflection, it is clear that if I had practiced patience and allowed the irritation to blow over, I would have suffered less.
Last, I remembered again to trust the Dharma, our wise and loving teacher and the support of the FCM sangha.
Here is a transcript of our conversation from the Q&A:
Doug (who is a physician): I had an experience this week where the Dharma wasn’t working for me. It usually works for me. I usually find some tool, pull something out of the bag of tricks. This week I was working a lot. It was hectic. Then there were lots of add-ons, including a good friend of ours getting very sick and my wife wanting me to put her to the top of the list, ahead of all my other patients. And so I got done with a long day and then took on her case.
You know those little bits of straw that can fuel a large fire? There was lots of kindling in there this week. I managed not to get angry, but there was a lot of irritation. The Dharma wasn’t working for me this week. And then I was getting upset that the Dharma wasn’t working (Fred laughing). I was on about the 12tharrow. Enough of the second arrow. I was starting to fire at will.
Luckily the Dharma was working somewhat. I don’t think I did any harm to the world around me. So that was probably a very positive step as I reflect on it. No anger got out, but there were heaps of irritation inside. I tried breathing. I tried stopping for five minutes. But I was getting less and less effective. I spun out of control.
So my question is, what do you do then?
Fred: So you were getting irritated at the Dharma because it wasn’t working for you. Let’s go back. Since I’m a strong upholder of the Dharma, I would frame it differently. It wasn’t that the Dharma wasn’t working for you. I would say that Doug wasn’t working the Dharma.That’s always my "go to."
Your mindfulness lets you know that you’re feeling stressed, tired, weary. And all of a sudden, the things that earlier in the morning weren’t a problem, as the day goes on, become problematic. You notice you are irritated. Why are you irritated?
We have to see that we have done something very different. We have disempowered ourselves. We have become the victim. We forget that we could have said no to your wife. Why did you say yes?
Doug: Because a Bodhisattva would say yes.
Fred: Yes. Because you weren’t dead yet. You had some capacity and you realized that you could help this person. Your wife was suffering because she was very concerned.
It’s almost as if there is this drama going on. On the one hand, you’re a doctor, here to help people, respond to their suffering. And then all of a sudden there is this other voice. The voice of "self." He’s going …grahh, grahh, grahh, grahh, grahh, grahh (Doug laughing). Can you see him? You need to be able to see that that’s where the irritation is coming from.
Those moments are good. Those moments are a choice point. Am I living my life according to the Dharma? Am I living my life according to my Bodhisattvic vows? Or am I living my life according to this very constricted, narrow self, whose voice is, “What about me...What’s in it for me…Why do people always want more from me?" It’s narrow. It’s petty.
If one is able to see that it is an empty voice, the self is empty, then it is no big deal. Then you can just blow away the irritation the way you blow away something that is not real. Again, it’s good to have those moments. To get bent out of shape.
We don’t hold on to the past but often we can learn from our mistakes. We certainly want to be able to reflect on past events, so we can learn fearlessness. Please remember, the Dharma always works. But we often don’t work the Dharma.
Doug Kallman, a physician from Atlanta, GA, joined FCM in 2018. He began a daily meditation practice in 2015 in the Insight tradition. With the bare minimum of prerequisite experience, he jumped into the deep end of the Dharma pool with Fred and FCM on a weeklong Wisdom Path retreat at Southern Dharma in June 2018. After a few days, he was all in, taking transmission of the 5 Mindfulness Trainings at the end of the retreat. Since then, he has been drinking at FCM's fire hose of Dharma, gratefully participating in Intensives and retreats with the community.
By ROSY SHARMA SEDHAIN
Growing up in a family where anger was very prominent, I was fully aware of the harm that it can cause. As a child witnessing it, I knew how frightening it could be. Later in life I was frightened to see the same seeds of anger in me.
Through a few years of meditation, Dharma study and practice, those seeds of anger had subsided to a great degree. I still experienced low-level irritation, frustration and sadness, and sometimes a little anger, too, but I felt they were normal and I had enough justification as to why they were okay for me.
But, now, as I have been studying The Way of the Bodhisattva by Santideva, every verse in the Patience chapter feels like it’s talking to me. Patience is something that I clearly see I need to cultivate. Verse 48 from the Shantideva's Vigilant Introspection chapter tells us that when anger arises: Do not act! Be silent, do not speak! And like a log of wood be sure to stay.
During the Patience Retreat I realized that, although I have been practicing to be like a log with no visible fire, the log was still hot inside and burning with irritation, sadness and frustration, which was fueled by wrong views. Through Fred’s teachings and reflection exercises, I realized that this log can be dangerous because slowly it will burn itself -- and the relationships around it -- whenever an explosive condition arises.
I realized why it is so important to make all efforts to reconcile and resolve all conflicts, however small. I got a chance to go to the source of my anger and irritation. When looking back at my past, I realized it was rising in me when I didn’t get what I wanted or when people did not behave as I wanted them to.
So, ego / self-centeredness is the root cause of why anger arises in me. When it arises, this self-centeredness also makes me feel lonely and separate from everyone around me. It makes me feel like I need to protect myself. This “wrong view” makes me blind and keeps the fire of anger going.
This might not look like a significant discovery because Fred has talked about it multiple times in his Dharma talks, and I thought I had “gotten it” a long time ago. But only when I put my own life’s past events and my behavior patterns under the microscope and replayed those moments were my findings significant for me. I saw how the anger dropped as soon as the words “I, Me, My” were dropped. The story is the same, but as soon as I dropped the Ego, anger was nowhere to be found, and only sadness remained.
Wow, is it that simple? After the retreat, I have been trying to implement this new awareness in my life. It does help to stop the log from burning inside. It is not easy, but possible.
Rosy Sharma Sedhain joined FCM in 2017. This is her second year in the Dharma Transmission Program. She and Suzy Walker have been leading the Family and Teen Program. Rosy feels blessed to be part of the FCM sangha.
A discussion with Marilyn Warlick, leader of FCM’s program on Death and Dying, touches on the topics of death and life and the no-separation between the two.
When you attend a meeting of Death Café, are you attending a discussion about death, or about life?
When you spend time talking to Marilyn Warlick, leader of FCM’s Death and Dying Program, about this subject, you’ll quickly learn that a discussion about death is really a discussion about how to live a life and that death is not separate from life.
By figuratively taking us by the collar and shaking us to remind us of death, Buddhism reminds us to really live in the present moment, fully and deeply and with all the love for others that we can muster.
Buddhism also brings us face-to-face with death to prepare us – to open us to accepting it as a universal aspect of the human experience, Marilyn tells us, bringing us out of the avoidance of the subject that leaves Westerners so tragically unprepared. It is with this mind at ease that we want to greet death as an experience of life.
And so, if you join a discussion at a Death Café, you’ll find nothing morbid there. The sharing is deep and full of life and the fruits of rich and wise practice. Real life issues are raised and heard with loving attention. When death is discussed, we remind ourselves to live fully in the present moment.
The meetings offer an opportunity to find stillness and stability in practice that is precious in a time that can overwhelm us, given the pandemic, earth calamity, racial injustice, and our and other governments and countries in turmoil. Marilyn reminds us there is peace in simply letting go and finding a place to rest.
The words of Simon and Garfunkel’s landmark song come to mind: “When you’re weary, feeling small… Like a bridge over troubled water, I will lay me down…”
As aspiring bodhisattvas, we are taught by Buddhism to help each other to learn to lay down preoccupation with life’s burdens and fears, which is really a preoccupation with the “self,” and to open to a mind of peace and ease. “I will lay me down” and be a bridge over troubled waters -- for others.
It’s about finding our “true home” in the midst of external turmoil. It comes back to mindfulness.
Marilyn recalled a passage by Thich Nhat Hanh in his book, At Home in the World. He was in Baltimore in 1966 when he learned that the Vietnamese government had revoked his passport and denied him re-entry to his homeland. His exile from his beloved country would last more than 40 years.
A now-homeless monk barely in his 40s, Thay wrote that he at that time still had not developed his practice to the point at which he had fully arrived at his "true home." He had been suffering from a recurring dream of being at his root temple in Vietnam and waking up to find himself in exile, and now it had happened. He took up residence in France because he could still travel in Europe on his expired passport.
All he could do during the first two difficult years was play with German and French children, connect with leaders of other religions to urge the end of the war in Vietnam, and do the inner work of practicing mindfulness to heal.
When we lose everything, that’s when we find our true home, when we lose our fear of death, he wrote.
“It was thanks to this practice (of mindfulness) that I survived,” Thay wrote. “The practice brought me back to my true home in the here and now. Eventually, I stopped suffering and I was in my true home in the here and now. When I returned (to Vietnam, many years later), it was a joy. But when it was time to leave my native country again, I did not suffer. ‘I have arrived, I am home’ is the essence of my practice. Since finding my true home, I no longer suffer. It was precisely because I didn’t have a country of my own that I was able to find my true home. I was able to break through and find my true home.”
Balancing the mind, inhabiting the body and physical senses, being mindful, and spending at least two hours a week connecting with nature are important ways to deal with the effects of the use of digital technology, according to the recent workshop “Nourishing Wellbeing – Balance in the Digital World.”
Bryan Hindert, facilitator of the FCM workshop, led about 40 participants through a series of reflections and online discussions framed around the Four Nutriments (consumption of mental "edibles," sense impressions, volition/intention and consciousness) to assist in managing their use of digital media in a more intentional and mindful way. Digital media was defined to include computers, cell phones, TVs, and other modern electronic communications devices.
Here are some of the reflections and suggestions from the workshop:
Some of the content we "consume" is wholesome. Much is manipulated. Neither the content of electronic media nor our perception of it meets the Buddha’s definition of reality. We need to be very careful and we need boundaries to keep from getting sucked down the rabbit hole.
In casinos, there are no clocks, so people don’t realize it’s time to go. As soon as one YouTube video is done, the next one starts. “Likes” on Facebook keep our eyes on the screen. We get a hit of dopamine every time we see the little dot in a new email. The average person spends 11 hours a day on devices, of which four hours on phones – one quarter of one’s waking day.
There is “digital burnout,” “digital overload” and “Zoom fatigue.” Blue light affects our sleep and our mood. We get physically tired and sit too much. This tech is not benign. It will have negative effects on us if we’re not careful.
Suggestions for practice:
The lesson of the retreat “Cultivating the Fearless Mind” was clear: We can transform fear by facing the fear straight on, right at it, replacing fear with trust, with confidence in our practice.
Sixty FCM members attending the retreat probed deeply into reflections about their fears and anxieties in the two-day online retreat last weekend led by Ken Lenington, Dharma leader from Asheville, NC (pictured below).
It was a hybrid of what retreat attendees have come to expect – a lingering and warm welcome of smiling faces on rectangular Zoom screens, noble silence, breaks for meals and mindful movements, chanting, Dharma talks and sharing, with much of it on the honor system at home. As FCM members have come to expect, the retreat left participants with practices to incorporate into their personal routines.
Ken based the content of the retreat on the Five Remembrances and the Three Fierce Mantras. They are shown below.
First, Ken asked retreat participants: What is the fear you want to work with today?
Second, What is the story underneath that fear? The second question disrobed the fear and left it standing bare and ephemeral – a mere image created by the mind.
Reflections on fear were deep, guided by many questions offered by Ken to help participants understand the nature of fear and the reasons it paralyzes us:
You have identified a fear you want to address. Where does this fear come from? Are there other feelings attached to it? Does it show up as anger? Loss? Sometimes anger is the first clue. Be with the fear and follow it. Where does it lead you? Can you find a source or sources? Be as open to the fear as you can. The closer you can get, the more you can see clearly where it comes from.
What desires may be present? What may be fueling the fear? Is there something you want to have happen? Is this fear realistic? Is there any real threat or danger here? If so, what’s the danger? When you look at the process that is labeled “this fear,” does it seem to be rational? Does it make sense based on your own experience?
Take a moment and explore whether this fear has any reality. Is there anything we can actually get hold of, other than passing thoughts that arise and leave? Does this fear exist anywhere outside my mind? Do you note any misperceptions – perhaps thinking something is permanent when it is not? Solid when it is not? Rational when it is not?
Ask yourselves: What am I resisting, even if you don’t feel you are resisting. What am I not accepting? What part of this event that is unfolding is unacceptable to me? What are the thoughts and stories that feed this fear, that perhaps help it grow? Identify them, give them names. Note if the fear is that you want things in your life to be different than they are. This might be a person, a thing or yourself.
Do I fear something that I hold dear will change or that I will lose it? Possessions? Job or income? Health? Love? Respect? Perhaps this fear is based on wanting to control what other people think of me, a fear of shame or embarrassment.
Looking as we have, can we see the truth of the situation a bit more clearly -- that all things in our lives are of the nature to change. Can we accept that we can’t control events or the other people in our lives, and when we try to control them, we become frustrated or angered by the responses that occur?
Are we beginning to clearly see that the grasping and clinging in our minds about how things ought to be causes suffering and unhappiness? Can we look and see that any sense of a solid and permanent self -- that which we call “me” -- is a fabrication in our minds, and nothing stays the same, even for a moment -- that we, too, are an appearance arising from the causes and conditions that make us appear us this way?
Look once again at the fear, the kernel at the center of it, the proposition around which it is formed, and ask, Is it true? “Is it true” is such a useful proposition. We’re not asking for an immediate answer. We want to relax into the question, into not knowing. It’s like a light.
Find the question at the heart of your fear: Is it true that I have too much to do? Is it true that I need other people to think that I am competent? Is it true that I would be devastated if I made a mistake and didn’t get things just right? That I need to be able to control what other people say and do and what they think about me? That I couldn’t handle it if I lost my job or my income? That I couldn’t handle it if I became seriously ill? That I couldn’t handle losing the love of my partner? That I need to be loved?
Who is it that thinks there is too much to do? Or thinks they couldn’t handle losing their job or income? Asking “Who is it?” is also shining a light. Relax into the question. If answer says, “It’s me,” relax into it. Who is it that needs to look competent? That needs to be liked? That needs to be loved? That doesn’t want things to change?
Let go of any answers.
Fears and anxieties that arise during this pandemic may seem different than ones we are used to, but they are not really different. The question ends up being the same as always: What should we do in the face of unexpected things? We watch. We watch the things that arise, the anger, the fears and anxieties. They change from day to day. You can make that your COVID-19 practice. Let yourself be there with them.
Ask yourself: Are these fears irrational?
One practice is when we look at our thoughts, there’s nothing there to hold on to. Let them be and let them move on. It’s not what arises that’s the problem. It’s hooking onto them. Just say, oh, “Fearful thought,” and let them go. They will leave.
The practice is that all of this is a dance, awareness that is coming and going, and you can trust in that. You can trust in the nature of yourselves, in deepening awareness, just this deepening interacting stream of being, dancing together, a part of each other, always changing and interchanging. If you see it that way, then fear dissipates.
* * * * *
The Five Remembrances
~The Plum Village Chanting Book, Thich Nhat Hanh
Three Fierce Mantras
In a four-day retreat on Verses on Trust in Mind, Roshi Hogen Bays, in his return visit to Tampa last week, offered moving teachings about mind and body that began with the foundations of mindfulness and sometimes brought himself and members of his audience to tears.
Equally as broad as the beloved sutra were the applications of the teachings, ranging from how one navigates fear and sadness after becoming vulnerable, to the wonder of feeling one's own pulse throughout the body, to a glimmer of understanding of the oneness that encompasses all beings and everything in an unending universe.
This unknowable beauty is yours, claim it! exclaimed Roshi in a burst of emotion that was pure heart. The tears of the retreatants mingled with his tears of wonder.
The less sublime was beautiful, too. It ranged from the pure joy of our teacher Fred at sharing Dharma space with Roshi, his Dharma friend of 50 years, to retreat attendees sharing tasks so simple as sweeping the floor together in silence.
Although Roshi would wag his finger and admonish, "No stories! And anything older than a nanosecond is a story!" here are some pictures to share the experience of oneness that came together at the retreat. After all, human beings seem to can't resist the shared delusion of telling (or depicting) stories!
The kitchen chop-and-slice team, from left, was Spence Davis of Tallahassee, Nina Hatton of Tallahassee, Chef Nancy Natilson of Tampa, Robbie Tisch of Bethesda, Maryland, and Carol Green of Naples.
Bryan Hindert of Tampa and Maria Sgambati of Tampa, residential caretaker, led weekend cooking duties.
Lunch duty was tough, but somebody had to do it! Making sure there was no food waste was, from left, Scott Nissensohn of Tampa, Marilyn Warlick of Tampa, Mitch Schaefer of St. Petersburg and Dana Mooney of Temple Terrace.
Tidying up in the kitchen are Elena Rigg of Atlantic Beach, left, and Maria Sgambati of Tampa.
Ned Bellamy of Clearwater and Diana Fish of St. Petersburg inspect some forks with globs of peanut butter stuck to the tines. Dishwashers don't like peanut butter!
The peanut butter problem brings Bobb Hart of Tampa into selfless service. He makes sure that peanut butter doesn't get stuck on the forks.
Chris Witrak and Betsy Arizu, both of Tampa, sweep a gazillion crumbs from the dining room floor. Eating in silence can be messy.
Roshi checks out the kitchen, to Bryan Hindert's delight!
Tran Phung of Tampa, left, shares a laugh with Roshi and Fred in the dining room.
Nina Hatton of Tallahassee, foreground, and CiCi Claar of Tampa, right, get into the spirit of Diane Powell's Mindful Movements class.
The Trust in Mind Sutra so often chanted at FCM Sangha meetings is about having deep trust, right here, right now, Roshi Hogen Bays of Portland, Oregon, told attendees in a four-day retreat on the Verses on Trust in Mind held recently at the Tampa Practice Center.
Roshi led extensive periods of sitting meditation and various practices of getting in touch with the body and physical sensations as a first step toward building the foundation for deep, calm stillness of mind. You can trust that the earth is supporting your body, always, he said. You can trust in your clear luminous mind to always support you, too, he added.
Roshi is a Zen priest of the White Plum Sangha of Portland, a leader of the Zen Community of Oregon in Portland and co-abbot of Great Vow Zen Monastery in Clatskanie, Oregon. This was his second year of leading a retreat at FCM in Tampa by invitation of our teacher Fred, a Dharma brother of Roshi under Philip Kapleau at the Rochester Zen Center in the late 1960s.
The evening before the retreat began, Fred and Roshi held a dialogue about their experiences for the benefit of the community.
"It all starts with our own body, knowing all sensations are just flow. It's the flow of energy, just the tingling vibration of life. We are nothing but experience," Roshi said.
His meditations delved into the direct experience of sensations within the body and the experience of being alive "from the inside out." These sensations take us back to a place of forgotten direct experience before we learned speech, before our Buddha minds were hidden beneath layers of adaptations, projections and illusions that now cause us to suffer. This body of sensation is pure awareness, Roshi said.
His guided meditations and Dharma talks were filled with pithy humor and wisdom:
Framed by Buddhist prayers and sutras, words of love described the life and impact of Ruth Eppsteiner as the Florida Community of Mindfulness came together to say farewell to her earthly presence in her funeral service Sunday.
Our teacher Fred led the ceremony for his mother, who passed away at home in Naples on February 11 at the age of 102. The service included music and eulogies from family and sangha members.
Fred told the Sangha that the role of a Buddhist funeral is to support the deceased in their continuing journey of transition and to remind us of impermanence, reminding us to be mindful of its impact on our relationships.
Ruth's younger son, Rob, of Naples, remembered her as a mother whose life centered on love of family and who kept family and extended family members near all her life. He described a generous heart that could best be defined as "Give away your love!"
He said all three of her children were born into the Jewish faith but ended up practicing Buddhism, along with Ruth herself becoming Buddhist at age 80, causing Ruth to ask later in life, "What karma do we have?"
Rob Eppsteiner describes Ruth's deep love of family, while Fred's granddaughter, Metta,
"Her great teaching was don't waste time," he said. "Love your family and friends."
Ruth's youngest grandson, George Eppsteiner, spoke on behalf of her numerous grandchildren and great-grandchildren, recalling memories of her as a loving grandmother who provided warm cookies when he was young and plainspoken lessons in life even in his adult years.
Angie Parrish, speaking on behalf of her time with Ruth as well as for Sangha members who had submitted their comments, recalled the FCM pilgrimage with Fred to India in 2009, which Ruth had joined in spite of warnings from Fred that it was strenuous and that she might die there because of the difficult conditions and her age. Her response was "Sign me up!" Angie said the rest of the group got sick and had to push to keep up with Ruth.
"When we went to Naples, we would sit on the porch of her condo and talk about Dharma," Angie said. "She called Fred her teacher. She loved the Dharma and she loved the Naples Sangha very much."
Fred commented that "at age 102, she had lost everybody, her husband, her friends, yet she never changed. She just began attracting younger people. Her body aged, but her mind never aged."
He said he found notes from a Dharma talk given by Ruth that reflected thoughts that she had not discussed in her talk. One bit of self reflection said she hadn't seen outside her little circle of people she loved but that her practice caused her to begin to open up her love to all beings. Her Dharma talk, in which she talks about developing her practice after coming into Buddhism late in life, can be accessed by Clicking Here.
Ruth's Dharma name was Source of Boundless Love.
As had been requested by Ruth, the Sangha recited the Heart Sutra.
Courtney "CiCi" Claar sings "If I Loved You," a song from the Broadway musical Carousel.
Also requested by Ruth was "If I Loved You," the favorite song of her and her husband of 52 years, Larry, who predeceased her. It was sung by Courtney "CiCi" Claar of the Tampa Sangha.
Diana Fish of the St. Petersburg Sangha played cello for a silent meditation, and a group sang "Five Remembrances."
Singing "The Five Remembrances" from the balcony were, from left, Anne Louise Kracmer of Fort Myers, Charner Reese of Tampa, Molly Conlon of Tampa, Maria Teresa Jaureguizar of Tampa and Christopher Lee Nguyen of Fort Myers. They were accompanied by Rick Ferriss of Tampa on the guitar.
A reception, featuring a video of Ruth's life and loving relationships with family members, followed the service.
Elements of the service are included below:
CONTEMPLATION OF NO-COMING AND NO-GOING:
This body is not me.
I am not limited by this body.
I am life without boundaries.
I have never been born,
and I have never died.
Look at the ocean and the sky filled with stars,
manifestations from my wondrous True Mind.
Since before time, I have been free.
Birth and death are only doors through which we pass,
sacred thresholds on our journey.
Birth and death are a game of hide-and-seek.
So laugh with me,
hold my hand,
let us say good-bye,
say good-bye, to meet again soon.
We meet today.
We will meet again tomorrow.
We will meet at the source every moment.
We meet each other in all forms of life.
MINDFULNESS OF THE DECEASED:
Brothers and Sisters, it is time to bring to mind Ruth and to send the energy of loving kindness and compassion to her. Let us sit and enjoy our breathing for a moment, allowing Ruth to be present with us now.
Brothers and Sisters, please listen. The peace and joy of the entire world, including the worlds of the living and the dead, depend upon our own peace and joy in this moment. With all our heart and one-pointed mind, let us begin anew for the benefit of ourselves and our beloved ones.
It was a weekend of commitment and celebration with the combination of the annual transmission ceremonies of mindfulness trainings to 24 persons and the yearly retreat of the FCM Order of Interbeing (OI), where 12 new aspirants were announced.
The Tampa Meditation Hall was filled to overflowing for Sunday's transmission ceremonies. Photo by Alex Lerner
Led by our teacher Fred, commitments were made February 2 by 23 adults to the Three Jewels (Buddha, Dharma and Sangha) and the 5 Mindfulness Trainings and by one child who made the Two Promises.
Fred, far left, leads the transmission ceremonies for the Three Jewels, 5 Mindfulness Trainings and Two Promises at Sunday Sangha in Tampa.
One child, Leo Reiff, age 7, Fred's grandson, made the Two Promises during the ceremony. Above, he is assisted by his little sister, Metta.
Salima Grannon leads incense chant at Sunday Sangha in Tampa.
The transmission ceremonies ended the weekend OI retreat, at which members and aspirants also attended discussions on right speech/mindful communication/beginning anew, leadership, and recitation and discussion of the 14 Mindfulness Trainings. Fred led a discussion about the purpose of OI mentoring, the role of OI within FCM, readiness for ordination to OI and how to manage retreat/lazy time encouraged for members of the order. A tea ceremony in the Plum Village tradition held Saturday night featured poetry music and personal reflections.
Listening to a discussion about OI's purpose within FCM are, from left, Chris Lee Nguyen, Bryan Hindert, Fred, Angie Parrish, Scott Nissensohn, Raven Dreifus-Kofron and Nancy Natilson.
The Tampa Sangha listens as new OI aspirants introduce themselves and ask for support.
New OI aspirants for 2020 were introduced at Sunday Sangha before the Transmission Ceremonies began. Each of them stated their aspiration and asked for support of the Sangha.
OI aspirant Dragos Zanchi of Tampa asks for support of the Sangha on Sunday.
Photo by Alex Lerner
They are Raven Dreifus-Kofron of Brandon, Teresa Fernandez of Tampa, Misti Oxford-Pickeral of Gainesville, Patricia Lukacs of Tampa, Rob Mitchell of St. Petersburg, Scott Nissensohn of Tampa, Mary Robinson of Fort Myers, Margaret "Maggie" Tudor of Tampa, Chris Witrak of Tampa, Antonela Zanchi and Dragos Zanchi of Tampa. Absent but accepted into the OI aspirant program was Shana Smith of Gainesville.
OI members and aspirants joined in a discussion Saturday in Tampa.
Photo by Alex Lerner
Florida Community of Mindfulness, Tampa Center
6501 N. Nebraska Avenue
Tampa, FL 33604
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St Petersburg Sangha